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Latest on Sat, 10:39: This site sucks...
: Please Welcome Shitty Blogger Utopia! (She also writes shitty haiku.)
: I actually read the terms of service. Anything that falls from my womb shall be yours I guess. BUt be aware, it will already be [...]
: How does anyone post an article on't main page? I'm dying to blow me shitty blog duck:)
: Another new old member: Webkittyn!
10 Shitty Bloggers signed up for the First Ever Shitty Blogs Club Cruise. When they showed up at the Dock, they were disappointed (but not really shocked) to find that the ship was less of a Cruise Ship and more of a big row boat. They were even more disappointed (but still not shocked) when Jeckles expected them to do the rowing.
Oddly, no sensed the coming disaster, even after Jeckles announced it would be “a three hour tour, a Three. Hour. Tour.” You would have thought that the ominous repeating of the words “three hour tour” would have tipped some one off.
Predictably a squall came out of no where and devastated the little boat. The Bloggers were able to swim to a small island. Jeckles was no where to be found, but they sensed he must be somewhere nearby, pulling unseen strings.
Their first thoughts were of Survival!
Cue up theme music…
Ten Bloggers stranded on an island:
Monty ~ Charming, pleasant and Evil.
Utopia ~ A Mad Scientist, not insane, just pissed.
Sparky ~ Utopia’s Stoner Hubby.
Yummy! ~ The Mascot, desperate for attention.
Chad ~ Brash. Arrogant. Insane.
Tammy ~ An opinionated Midwestern Ball of Rage.
Rose ~ Underneath a sweet exterior, she is a brawler.
Mango ~ Stressed out, overworked, manic Engineer.
Mike ~ Gives all the appearances of being a really nice guy. He’s either doomed or he’s fooling us all.
Nat ~ The newest Shitty Blogger; a flower powered hippie from New England.
The Survivor realized that they didn’t have the skills to build shelter or catch food. Their only hope was rescue. They believed that Jeckles would send out a search party, but knew that the Shitty Blogs Club was strapped for cash. Their only hope was to come up with a catchy slogan would bring people from all of the world to the Shitty Blogs Club. Then hopefully, Jeckles would be able to mount an expensive rescue mission.
Each blogger retreated to their own ‘corner’ of the island to create a slogan. They somehow sensed that they would have to complete this by 6/19.
Be Proud. Be Shitty!
I’m constructing my corner out of rock-hard bricks, so you all can’t huff and puff and blow it all down.
We’ll just bribe you to open the door. Or cheat. I think cheating it the way to go this time.
And who says I’m a hippy? I do love psych. rock and I drive a PT cruiser….but I do not own tie dye. And I have only one Grateful Dead record.
Dammit Utopia, stop peeking over my shoulder. I’d already decided to cheat.
I’m sure hippie was meant as a compliment, whereas if someone said it to ME it would be ‘hippy’, referring to my hips. :D
Cause my milkshake brings all the boys to my yard, you know.
I say your a hippie.
Your blog reads like this:
Summer of love, Survivor, Survivor, Paris, Summer of Love, Summer of Love.
I wonder why the suitcase that contained my sparkly evening dresses washed up on shore, but the one in which I was hiding a switchblade and Glock didn’t make it…
If you say so, jeckles.
Monty, too bad. I’ve got my brass knuckles and my taser hidden in my bra. Bring it on.
Who among you will join me in the “Dethrone Monty” alliance? I’m willing to kill a goat or some other small mammal for you. Or catch some fish with my bare hands. I’ll even make margaritas for you.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Don’t make me use my special powers on you.
BWAAHAAHAAAAA!! SPecial powers? Like..um…can you lick your own elbow?
I love me some margaritas. But there’s no cold concrete on this island to sleep on when I’ve had too many. Bummer.
It’s a good thing I have mad island skills.
Is Rose gonna have to come out of her corner and choke some bitches?
Or um, I mean, uh, would anyone like some of these lovely coconut cookies I appear to have baked using only hot rocks, palm fronds, the light of the sun and the warmth of my loving heart?
*cough*
Oh, you keep it up missy and you’ll see what my special powers are…
CHOKE SOME BITCHES! YEAH!
only not me. :)
Monty, do you want a coconut cookie? I didn’t spit on this one.
oooh, goody, the non-spit kind–my favorite! Thanks!
Don’t take the cookies. I watched her put *something* in them when I was up in that tree.
Yeah, she brought some magical something in a ziploc bag. She could have mixed it into the cookies. Hey wait…give a piece to one of the guys and see if he croaks.
Man, jeckles, you called me antagonistic or feisty.
Lil ole moi?
Let me tell ya from personal experience, Monty can hold her own with margaritas. But make ‘em mango margaritas and she’ll hurl. (Just a helpful hint.) Sorry, beyotch, it’s time you went down! (tee hee hee)
Hey hey hey!
This plastic baggie is filled with love.
Pure and honest love, I tell you.
Those cookies are MADE WITH LOVE.
Here, have another one.
Oooh, Chickie, you’re so lucky you’re not here right now. I would totally spew the mango margarita RIGHT ON YOUR HEAD.
And okay, gimme another cookie, Rose. :) I’m STARVING.